And I’m sad I’m infertile and I’ll never have children who can like my furniture arrangements in old photographs of their dad 




bla bla 




I told my girlfriend nothing about eating from garbage cans 

I told my girlfriend nervous giggles 




and my girlfriend is so good she giggles right back 



//////

there are big lights and small lights

as in, lamps

big lights are always bad really, unless its 1 big one in a single big room

the best is small lights

and clean walls, never hang anything on the walls have small lights on the floor and any paintings or pictures should also just lean on a wall not hang on them.










er lijkt mij niks zinniger dan

de geur of tast van sinaasappels 

of het verstrijken van blauw krijt 

en ik weet niet of dat een verlicht 

of verslagen man betekent 




ik was soms buitenslaap maar vooral

op de bank bij ex-vriendinnen

omdat ik in het begin nog wel

charme had

en daarvoor helemaal sindsdien geen woorden maar enfin
dus nooit nachtopvang

doodsbang ook




dus op de hierarchie,

niet hoog

maar ook met kanker
dus op de hierarchie 
nu wel hoog. Maar anders. Want jij praat toch netjes en kleed toch netjes en weetjeweldatjeeigenlijkheelintelligentbent en bij jou is dat toch niet echt echt dakloos want je ruikt niet naar pis




weet je nog Tumblr? 




I remember my dead dad’s stainless steel coffee cup



I remember food from a garbage can I type I remember but not really I think maybe abstractly not really no.




And sometimes I look at his hands and remember the dumbness and shame but shame not like 

like the shame of a child who accidentally ate all the cookies or some shit i dont know what the fuck I mean




My girlfriend says I have good taste

hey you’ve good taste.



Pupils dilate and i kiss

Geen adres betekent ook geen bijstandsuitkering

sorry sorry anders, het moet namelijk

het formulier




once with the army I saw a horse 

it took a while before I knew I saw it actually 

me and the guys 
were eating pre-packaged sandwiches 
in plastic from a factory 
in army gear 
with our rifles on our backs 
and we were laughing and not much standing around
bit boredwhataboutyou 
then 
I see this fucking grappling hook truck thing behind them 
Right behind their backs

Us drinking coffee and eating these factory 

Sandwiches

and itd been there the whole time but now moving and the machine moving it just grabs this horse from the ground from right behind where my buddies are standing its a dead horse and it lifts it in the air 

And i said to the guys I said look 

And it looks so pretty - it didnt look dead at all 




En ik kan niet 

en ik wantrouw iemand die wel
want ondanks



tussen wal en schip



vermogen is moord en ik wil het ook